In this video I share the worst advice I’ve heard claiming to help you get your ex back.
There are certainly a lot of voices out there wanting to tell you how to get an ex back, how to be attractive, how to make another person “obsess” over you and what to do after a breakup.
The difference between myself and a lot (but not all) of the other coaches out there is that I base what I tell you on two decades of experience with real people rather than just my own experience or what I think sounds good.
In the video above, I outline 5 of the worst tips I’ve heard that claim to help you get an ex back after a breakup.
One reason that there is so much bad advice out there is because people need material to make YouTube videos or articles to try to stand out.
So some of them knowingly give out bad tips or advice that can actually hurt your chances of getting your ex back.
Others ignorantly give out terrible advice because they don’t know any better and believe that it sounds good.
So rather than base it on trial and error, research, observation, or even personal experience, many so-called coaches just say things that sound good or that they believe will get them views for their YouTube videos.
That’s pretty disgusting if you ask me.
So be sure to watch the video above all the way through.
I’ve also put together my three best tips or the best advice to get an ex back.
So be sure to take a look at that too in order to get a path to reuniting with the one you love.
Remember, sometimes, but rarely, silly things work.
If you are looking for me to say that something never, ever works to re-attract the one who dumped you, I can’t say that.
If your ex is desperate enough or “ripe enough,” to be gotten back, even bad actions or unattractive behavior on your part can get him or her back.
I assume, however, that you want the best chance to get your ex back.
That “Best Chance,” Is Arrived At After The Equation Of Time + Withdrawal + Attractive Behavior.
I explain it a lot on this website and in my Emergency Breakup Kit.
Avoid becoming desperate to force things to happen quickly.
In my twenty years of experience in the relationship-recovery service, I can tell you that trying to make it happen quickly substantially lowers your chances of getting back together with this person.
In one of my other videos on my YouTube Channel, I explain the stages that your ex goes through during no contact.
Those stages are important because by going through them, your ex learns a few things.
First, your ex learns that the breakup is something he/she does not want.
If you don’t give them the breakup and allow them to experience the consequences, your ex can’t learn that important lesson.
It takes experience.
Second, your ex has the opportunity to miss you.
That’s important for those of you who, understandably, want to know how to make your ex miss you.
You see, if you continue to stay in the life of your ex after he/she has broken up with you, you remove the circumstances that lead to them missing you.
If you are still in their life, they can’t miss you.
You aren’t thirsty unless you have gone without water.
You aren’t hungry unless you have gone without food.
Your ex must be without you in order to miss you and to experience separation anxiety and withdrawal from you.
Third, staying away from your ex can actually re-ignite the chemicals associated with the concept known as limerence.
When that happens, staying out of your ex’s life for a time can cause actual chemical withdrawal and the associated symptoms.
In that case, you become the only cure.
Though it’s not the quick get-your-ex-back-quick scheme promised by the coaches who provide the bad advice I share in the video above (you did watch it didn’t you?), it’s actually the fastest way to get your ex back that is actually going to be real.
I know that in your state of desperately wanting your ex back that the temptation is to not care about how you get your ex back, but to care only about getting them back.
Please heed my warning on this.
First of all, the schemes and actions tossed up by some of the bad coaches out there are very unlikely to work if they don’t adhere to the basic concept I mentioned above and that you can read about on this site or watch in my videos.
Second, if those schemes or actions do work, they do so without your ex learning from the breakup.
Why does that matter?
It matters a great deal because your ex is likely to leave again and it’s likely to be permanent this time.
The reason for that is because if the breakup was too easy and then your ex re-unites with you without at least a viable predicament of semi or full-on desperation, fear of losing you (or that they have already lost you), realization of how important you were to their life, and motivation to seek reconciliation, then your ex will leave the relationship again because motivation and attraction will be low.
That last sentence was long and detailed, so I suggest reading it again slowly and making sure you understand what I’m saying.
If you understand what I’ve said so far, know that what’s worse is that this time, your ex will have learned the exact opposite of what you want them to learn.
Your ex will have learned that they were right to break up with you because they went back to it.
So going forward, your ex will see that giving the relationship with you another shot only reaffirmed that the breakup is what they wanted.
Any occasional thoughts of considering getting back together with you will be extinguished by the lesson your ex learned – that they already tried that and didn’t want it.
Many of you have posted comments on my YouTube videos worrying that your ex will get over you.
I understand that such a concern is valid, but I can tell you that giving your ex the encouraging reminder that he/she has already tried getting back together with you – but it still wasn’t what they wanted – is a way that your ex can get over you and move on.
That’s why it’s so important that your strategy to get your ex back be focused on their motivation of getting back together with you – not on your motivation to get back together with them.
So again with the No Contact Rule and letting your ex go through those stages.
Be sure to watch the video above if you haven’t.
Take your time on my videos and on this site. Your understanding is key to getting your ex back along with reinforcing your commitment to stick to the plan.
Moments of emotional weakness can keep you from getting your ex back.
No matter what, I wish you the very best.