In this important video Coach Lee answers the question, “Is my ex over me?”
Be sure to watch this video all the way through to give you the most information, and therefore the best chance possible, of getting your ex back.
This question is asked often by panicked people wondering if they have forever missed their chance to get their ex back.
If you are wondering if your ex is over and done with you and the relationship you two had, this important video will provide much needed prospective and direction (so watch it and then read the article below).
How To Tell If My Ex Is Over Me
People often want a checklist or list of steps to help them determine if their ex is “over” them.
Much like when people ask me how to know if an ex has ‘moved on,’ defining such a state is difficult and subjective.
If pressed, most people would define an ex being ‘over them’ as a point in which the ex has lost all desire to even consider the possibility of getting back together.
For the sake of this article, I’ll go with that basic definition of an ex being over you.
From my twenty years of experience in the relationship-coaching service as of the writing of this article, I can tell you that there is certainly a point in time when it is more difficult to get back together with an ex who has broken up with you (or if you broke up with your ex).
That being said, in most cases, there is not a point where it reaches a level of being completely impossible.
It can reach that point.
Most of the time, no.
When Is Your Ex Most Closed To The Idea of Reuniting?
The time when your ex is the most set on being away from you and is not considering getting back together with you is usually right after the breakup.
I talk about that in my video and article called, “Stages Your Ex Goes Through After A Breakup.”
Right after breaking up with you, your ex is likely relieved to have gotten such an awkward experience over with.
Unless your ex is just a bad person, in which case, you don’t want them back, then hurting you by dumping you wasn’t something that they wanted to do.
It was something they felt they had to do.
So after getting it over with and feeling like they don’t have to see you hurt anymore, your ex is probably feeling pretty good for a few days up to a few weeks.
At that point, they are “over you,” in some ways in that moment.
But keep in mind that all of that is subject to and likely to change if you use the No Contact Rule or the Intelligent Contact Rule.
You can’t accurately put your ex in a category that is permanent.
Does your ex want to be with you right now?
It depends on what stage they are in and I talk a lot about this in my videos so be sure to SUBSCRIBE to me on YouTube.
One way to think about it is that there are times when it is more likely you can re-attract your ex and there are times when it is less likely.
The key to remember is that if your ex was attracted to you at some point, then he or she can be attracted to you again.
The potential is there and if you do some of the things I outline and discuss in my articles here and in my videos (remember to subscribe), then your chances of re-attracting your ex and getting back together with the increase significantly.
Also see, “Can The Law of Attraction Bring Your Ex Back?“
If Your Ex Is With Someone Else, Are They Over You?
Most people think that that if an ex is in a relationship with someone else that it is game over and that there is not chance of ever getting back together with them.
That’s not the case.
I’m not saying that it is automatic or easy, but if your ex is with someone else, you getting back together with them is not impossible.
If your ex is in a rebound relationship, your odds are actually pretty good of re-attracting your ex.
The reason for that is because if they rushed into a relationship with someone, they can do so without having dealt with their remaining feelings for you.
In fact, the rebound can actually help them to see that they miss you and don’t want to lose you – especially if you are using the no contact rule (that’s important).
The potential exists for your ex to realize that they jumped into another relationship too quickly and before they were ready.
This can cause your ex to feel that the rebound relationship is artificial and help them to view what you two had as more authentic and meaningful.
So rather than ‘getting over you’ and ‘moving on,’ your ex can become determined to get back together with you from the experience of a shallow and rushed relationship (that’s why we call it a rebound relationship).
If you stay in contact with your ex and beg, plead, pester, cry, etc. with them, you actually help them get to a point that can resemble being ‘over you.’
It’s when they take your presence for granted to the point that they don’t have to come face to face with the realization that they could lose you.
Keep Your Ex From Getting Over You By Giving Him/Her A Real Breakup
In other words, if you don’t leave your boyfriend alone after he broke up with you, he will not actually experience a real breakup.
He will assume that you will always be around even though he tossed you aside.
That will save him from the consequences of a breakup and he won’t even know if he really wants it or not because you are enabling him to be comfortable without you.
At some point he will be able to reflect on what it’s been like to be ‘broken up’ with you and will determine that it has been easy.
But that’s not because the breakup was necessarily what he wanted, but because he didn’t have to experience it.
That same is true if you are a man who has been dumped by a woman.
Allow your romantic partner to experience the actual breakup so that they don’t get used to living in a world where there is no risk of losing you or where they doubt that you could make it without them (and will, therefore, always be easily gotten back).
So the bottom line is that your ex’s feelings, desires, and plans are always subject to change, but at the same time, you can increase or decrease your chances of re-attracting him/her by your actions and level of discipline after a breakup.
Be sure to watch the video above all the way through to really grasp this concept.
It will help you know what to do in certain situations and give you encouragement that it is the best thing to do.
Stay in the moment.
The rush and sense of urgency you feel is an illusion.
I highly recommend my Emergency Breakup Kit or Emergency Marriage Kit to give you the best chance possible of getting your ex back.
No matter what, I wish you the very best.
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