In this post, Coach Lee answers the question, “Will my ex come back?”
This is specifically for the situation of where you have been broken up with by your ex.
If you were the one who broke up with your ex and are wondering if they will come back to you, remember that they didn’t leave.
So they can’t really, “Come back. to you”
That would be more in your court.
In this situation it is up to you to reach out, apologize, and ask him/her to consider taking you back.
Since that situation is actually pretty straight forward, that’s all I’ll say about that.
Going forward, this content will apply to someone who was dumped but wants their ex back.
Can you know if your ex will come back to you and want to get back together?
The obvious answer to that is, no, you can’t know for sure.
You can, however, have a good idea as to the odds of your ex coming back to you after they dumped you.
Signs Your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend Still Loves You and Wants You Back
So here are some clues or signs your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend still loves you, cares about you, and has feelings that could lead to them wanting you back.
If you are asking, “Will my ex come back to me?” see if you have noticed the following evidence.
- Your ex can’t stop communicating with you. Basically, if your ex keeps contacting you, that’s a great sign they feel there is some unfinished business between the two of you.
- Your ex is curious about the details of your life. You might have heard me say in my videos that curiosity is a precursor to attraction (also see “How The Law of Attraction Can Get Your Ex Back“). So it is a great sign if your ex demonstrates this trait by wanting to know what is going on in your life. It’s a sign of him/her missing the emotional intimacy that you two once shared. Your ex might not be able to put that into words, but that’s what they are likely feeling. Maybe your ex directly contacts you to ask about your life or maybe your ex contacts mutual friends and you find out they did. It’s a great sign that your ex still has feelings for you.
- Your ex still keeps pictures of you two together on Facebook and/or Instagram. None of this list absolutely guarantees that your ex wants you back or still has feelings for you, but it’s a very good sign if your ex keeps pictures of you two together on social media rather than deleting them. It likely means that your ex can’t bring himself/herself to delete those because you still mean a lot to them and they feel that their still could possibly be a future. They likely won’t tell you this because they don’t want to get your hopes up and because they don’t want to have to deal with you asking (or begging) that the two of you could get back together immediately. If your ex has deleted pictures of you two together on social media, however, don’t panic. It’s okay, it’s just not an obvious sign. Sometimes exes delete pictures because it hurts to see them and because they are trying to move on (which is normal).
- Your ex reminisces about experiences you two had together with you or friends. This underscores point 2 in that this is likely a sign that your ex misses the emotional intimacy that you two shared. This is a really good sign and if these things start to pile up, you should feel great about it!
- Your ex asks mutual friends if you ever mention him/her or ask about them. This is often a sign that your ex is contemplating making some movement toward you (emotionally speaking). That could be as simple as opening the lines of communication with a text or snap. It could also be as serious as asking you to get back together with them. I say that because this particular sign often suggests your ex is trying to gauge your receptiveness to him/her or trying to see if you have moved on or not. It’s a good thing if they are wondering about that.
How To Know If Your Ex Still Loves You
If you notice or hear about any of these things, it’s a good sign that your ex still has feelings for you, loves you, cares, and could be open to getting back together with you at some point.
That doesn’t mean that you should start pursuing your ex or pointing out the signs to him/her!
The same things I have mentioned in other articles and videos still apply.
Those things include the no contact rule, resisting the temptation to try to talk your ex into getting back together, making yourself as attractive as possible, using radio silence, and other strategies that I coach you to do to get your ex back (especially in my Emergency Breakup Kit).
It’s important that you don’t become preoccupied or obsessed with trying to find signs and clues that your ex still wants you, loves you, or has feelings for you.
It can lead to preoccupation, anxiety, and delay your healing.
It can also hurt your chances of your ex coming back to you.
It’s best to understand that, even if your ex does still have feelings for you and want to get back together, this could take some time.
The timing has to be right.
If your ex is committed to completing something in life they believe is important, it might take them seeing steps happen toward completing that.
Hopefully it won’t take a full completion of that achievement.
If they are struggling some with the breakup and doubting their decision to leave you, then it could simply take them seeing some steps toward accomplishing whatever it is your ex believes he/she must do n order to be the partner they need/desire.
I even list that in my post, “The worst advice I’ve heard on getting your ex back.”
If you want your ex back, you can’t have them believing that you will ignore their text.
That kind of rejection could contribute to them giving up and even resenting you.
Quite simply, your ex won’t keep reaching out if she/he believes that you will not respond or will ignore them.
Who needs or wants that kind of rejection in their life?
Your ex will likely just stop reaching out because it would seem pointless and will push through, as difficult as it might be, toward getting over you.
I see that happen a lot when a coaching client has gotten bad advice on that from someone else before getting to my material.
My coaching strategies are based on actual and direct observation of thousands of cases over the course of 20 years.
I don’t simply tell you something that sounds good or gets video views.
I know, however, that other coaches provide advice that is based on making an interesting title to get you to watch a video or is based on only their person experience rather than actual clients and cases.
I wish that wasn’t the case, but you deserve to know.
What If I See Clues My Ex Might Come Back To Me?
Seeing the signs that your ex might want to get back together with you should mostly serve as encouragement that you are doing the right things and that the there is hope of getting your ex back.
Does it mean that you should do certain things if you see signs that your ex still cares?
I hesitate to tell you this because I don’t want you to go overboard with it, but, it could very well mean that.
What I mean is, for example, in the case of your ex being far away from you at the moment, if you were going to be in the area where they are, it could be helpful if you allow your ex to find out.
Warning! You must be careful.
Don’t make me regret telling you this.
Your ex doesn’t need to think that you are trying to make this happen.
That is because you need some mystery and need for your ex to feel a little pressure in wondering if you are simply going to move on and find someone else.
Whereas you don’t want to tell them that you are, you also don’t want to tell him/her that you are not.
Just let your ex wonder about that.
You want some healthy mystery and concern that works on your behalf with your ex’s heart.
So if your ex thinks that you are trying to orchestrate you two seeing each other, your ex could think that you are still interested, so they don’t have to worry or get back together with you soon.
They can just take their time.
The problem with that is that such a time is less likely to ever come because your ex’s attraction to you will likely fall because of that.
So be cunning in this.
Mutual friends can be helpful if they live in the area as well if you are careful with what you tell them.
For example, don’t say: “Hey, I’m coming to your area and I’m really wanting to see my ex so could we have coffee so maybe he will stop by?”
Don’t do that!
Don’t tell that mutual friend of your plans.
In fact, don’t tell anyone!
There’s just too much risk and I have seen that hurt many more times than help.
Just tell your mutual friend that you are going to be in town and want to hang out with them.
Have coffee and chat.
Have a good time.
Maybe you will see your ex and maybe you won’t.
It won’t happen perfectly every time and you have to be patient.
If the signs that your ex still has feelings for you are there, trust it and don’t force or rush a meet up with him/her.
It would be helpful.
That’s just the truth, but it is also the truth that it can harm your efforts to get your ex back as well if you try to force it.
I go into much greater detail in my Emergency Breakup Kit (which I highly suggest you get if you want your ex back and want to keep them)!
That includes how to respond if your ex reaches out, how to get your ex back from a long distance breakup, what to say in a meet up with your ex, and other details you haven’t even thought of.
So be sure to get the Emergency Breakup Kit.
No matter what, I wish you the very best.