I speak to a lot of people who think that their ex wants them to text, call, or email them.
“Does my ex want me to contact them?”
Be absolutely sure to watch my important video above all the way through (this is one of the most important videos for you to watch that I’ve ever done).
Then read this article to the end, taking your time to fully understand the concepts that I mention.
This isn’t a post to skim!
Do you think your ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, or straying spouse wants you to contact them?
I know the answer without even having to know the details of your situation.
The answer is that, of course, your ex wants you to contact them.
I have no doubt.
But it’s not for the reason that you think. No way!
It’s because your ex wants you to relieve them of any concern that they might have of not being able to get you back anytime they want to.
In other words, your ex wants you to contact them because it would be a great ego stroke.
If you are using the no contact rule, then it’s highly likely that your ex is having doubt about their decision to break up with you.
Those doubts aren’t necessarily constant, but can be.
On those days of doubt, when they wonder if they really do want to be broken up with you, the fact that you haven’t been contacting them makes them wonder if you are moving on or maybe even completely over them.
They wonder if you have let them go and if that would mean that they have lost you forever.
Then, the next doubt is one of personal doubt.
Your ex, at this stage of no contact, often begins to doubt their own attractiveness.
In other words, when your ex broke up with you, they had the power.
They were the one who put you aside and, in a sense, declared you to be unworthy of them – though your ex would likely never admit that.
Your ex, even though they didn’t do it for this reason, likely felt a surge of confidence and an ego boost when he/she broke up with you.
The reason for that is because even if you didn’t beg or plead, the assumption is that you are the one who wanted to stay together and your ex is the one who didn’t.
You wanted your ex and he/she didn’t want you.
Talk about an ego boost!
And your ex is wanting that ego boost back since no contact erodes that mountain of magnificence on which they are sitting.
That mountain gets pretty low and your ex is likely to want you to contact him or her to build it back up.
When that happens, the pressure to get you back or keep you from getting too far away fades.
Your ex’s fear of losing you vanishes because you reassure them that they could get you back at any time they want to.
That’s why you should resist contacting your ex – if you want them back.
If your ex needs to talk to you, then your ex should be the one to contact you.
That’s not asking too much.
Your ex is perfectly capable.
Unless your ex lives under a rock, he/she has access to a phone, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, email, and even Skype.
They could even write you hand-written letter if it is that important.
The road goes both ways and since they were the one to break up with and leave you, the burden should be on them to contact you since they stated their decision for a separation when they broke up with you.
In this way, you ensure that your ex experiences the negative consequences of breaking up with you.
If your ex doesn’t experience those negatives, why would they seek something different?
If you don’t stay away to make your ex miss you, what motivation would they have to make an effort to get back together with you?
If they have your reassurance that you will be waiting on them for some day in the future when they might possibly want you back, you are helping them get over you because there’s no urgency to figure out how they truly feel and what they truly want.
No one wants to experience the consequences of their actions.
And so many want someone else to pay for their mistakes.
Don’t pay for your ex’s mistake of dumping you.
Your ex has to pay with doubt, concern, fear, loss, and even mild-to-major desperation that they have blown it with you.
Be strong and don’t contact your ex.
Of course your ex wants you to contact them
They want you to make it easy on them.
Don’t do it.
If you feel that it is difficult on you to stay away, know that the same type of experience will usually create similar feelings in your ex.
Don’t fall for the excuses that you might be tempted to come up with because you want to contact your ex.
Be honest with yourself about that and take things one day at a time.
The road to getting your ex back can be long but it’s key to stay on it if you truly want your ex back.
You want to get your ex back, not to stroke their ego and make it easier for them to live without you.
It’s important that you not program your ex to believe that he/she can break up with you and then just sit back and rely on you to fix things.
Show more respect for yourself than that.
As I mention in so many of my other posts and videos, it’s important that your ex feels loss.
Your ex shouldn’t feel that you are making all of this easy on them by paving a way to yourself.
Your ex should develop growing concern that if they made the wrong decision, that they are on the clock as far as their chances with YOU.
You want your ex to regret their decision to break up with you and to feel surrounded by their doubt.
Don’t bail them out of that important feeling.
It’s so important if you want your ex back.
I highly recommend my Emergency Breakup Kit to give you the best chance possible of getting your ex back.
No matter what, I wish you the very best.