The breakup hurt and now you want to know how to make your ex want you back.
You realized, hopefully, that it didn’t matter to your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend how badly you wanted them.
What matters is if they want you back.
With that knowledge you are now trying to figure out how to make your ex want you back.
Get Your Ex To Want You Back
If you have read many of my articles, you know that I reference the success of the no contact rule often.
I have seen it work so often over the last eighteen years to get an ex to want the one they dumped back that I expect it to bring results.
Many of my coaching clients are very pleasantly surprised to see it work so well and often much faster than they would allow themselves to even hope.
Obviously it doesn’t work every time to make an ex want you back because people aren’t math problems.
The results I’ve observed over nearly two decades in the relationship-recovery industry have been a very strong testimonial to the power of The No Contact Rule and/or The Smart Contact Rule.
The reason it is so powerful is simple in explanation in that in order for your ex to want you, they have to experience not having you.
Most people, when faced with being dumped, act from panic, pain, desperation, fear, and ignorance.
These things lead them to beg their ex to stay with them, to text or call their ex constantly, to buy gifts, to cry to them, to show up where they work or at their home, and to do other, similar things in a misguided attempt to make their ex love them and want them back.
Sadly, it does the opposite.
Though it’s difficult to relate to your ex right now, because you still deeply want them and deeply want the relationship, you must understand that they no longer have the same desires at the moment.
Your ex no longer looks out at a future with you with dream-like anticipation.
Here’s the deal:
What likely motivated your ex just a short time in the past, such as continuing to become closer to you, maybe a possible wedding day for the two of you, shared vacations, and similar visions of the future, no longer motivates or excites them.
That doesn’t mean that those motivations, desires, and visions will never return, but it does mean that you can’t “remind” your ex of those things and have them suddenly restored to your side.
It just doesn’t work that way.
Many people who want to know how to get their ex to want them back are stunned and hurt to realize that their ex no longer sees the future as an intimate destination for the two of them.
In many ways, it’s like your ex is another person.
You look into their eyes, astonished that the same words and memories don’t affect and move them the same as before.
What Made Your Ex Stop Wanting You?
Though focusing too much on that question is counterproductive and pointless, there is one answer that you must realize if you want to know how to get your ex to want you back.
The answer is that your ex lost attraction for you.
I know that’s difficult to hear, but knowing that is the case is the first step to getting them to feel attracted to you once again.
You might point to situations in life that made the relationship more difficult to be in for your ex, but it all comes down to a loss of attraction.
If attraction had remained high enough, your ex would have overcome any obstacle to be with you. You would overcome any obstacle to be with them, right?
That is the hard fact of the moment.
How To Re-Attract Your Ex So That They Want You Back
Attracting your ex back might seem like a daunting, vague concept, but there’s legitimately a science to it.
You must take away what is attractive about you.
Here is what that is:
Bowing gracefully out of your ex’s life accomplishes much. For starters, it highlights your strength, maturity, and dignity.
You don’t, however, want it to appear that losing the relationship is no big deal to you.
That’s where many so-called relationship coaches get it completely wrong when trying to help you see how to make an ex want you back (That’s because they are operating more on theory than on practical experience).
If your ex is a mature, emotionally healthy individual, he/she will likely not want to try to venture back into a relationship with you if it appears that losing them meant little or nothing to you.
Yet some coaches recommend trying to send that very message to your ex! Count yourself fortunate you are on my site right now instead.
How To Make Your Ex Want You Back By Showing Strength In The Face Of Loss
What you should communicate to your ex is that you are a strong person in the face of difficulty.
Losing them is not what you want, it is painful, and you want them back.
But no matter what, you will move on with your life and you will flourish.
To make your ex want you back, you will gracefully bow out.
You will apply the no contact rule and stick to it for a time period appropriate to how long you and your ex were together.
By doing this, you let your ex experience the breakup.
You allow your ex to be without you so that he/she can miss you because your ex can’t miss you if you are still in contact.
That is how you make your ex want you back. They miss you, recognize your strength, and see what they will lose by not having you.
To get my help with your specific situation and a roadmap to getting your ex back, Schedule A Coaching Call With Me!