No Contact does not always bring your ex back.
There, that’s out of the way already so that we can make some progress on both helping you understand the No Contact Rule and to increase the likelihood of you getting your ex back.
If you use the No Contact Rule, you have the best chance of getting your ex back and it works to bring an ex back in the majority of cases IF the relationship was a good one and your response to the breakup wasn’t too bad and didn’t continue for too long.
In that type of situation, your ex’s response to your use of that rule is usually for them to reflect, reconsider, and, hopefully, respond by reaching out to you to re-establish contact.
Reflect, reconsider, and respond.
So no contact usually gives you another opportunity with your ex beyond the breakup – you just have to actually do it.
Hopefully that’s good news to you.
But since I titled the video above, “How No Contact ALWAYS Works,” what the heck am I talking about since I’ve already said that it doesn’t always bring an ex back?
How The No Contact Rule Always Works
No Contact is versatile and works in multiple ways.
Here are ways that it works not just for the present, but for the future.
1. It Makes You Emotionally Stronger
I’m going to explain how emotional strength helps you in more ways than one as well.
Most people find no contact to be the most difficult at the beginning.
However, most people report that it becomes much easier as time goes on.
That’s because the initial sting of the breakup has dulled some and because you are becoming emotionally stronger.
Emotional strength is something that is very attractive.
You might have heard me say in my videos that part of no contact is to give you a chance to work on yourself.
People often ask how that could do any good if you aren’t contacting your ex because they have no idea that you are more attractive or that you have made improvements.
For starters, the fact that you aren’t contacting them, begging them to take you back, pleading, etc., shows them that you can stay away.
That recognition for your ex is an important realization for them that happens in the stages your ex goes through during no contact.
So they don’t have to guess about it because they are actually witnessing your strength first hand.
What’s interesting is that your ex has a lot of ways of noticing or even suspecting that you have improved or that you are stronger than he/she thought.
They can hear from friends (even though you want to keep them out of it or AT LEAST be absolutely certain it’s not tied to you which means you don’t request their help).
What’s more, and some people see it as hocus pocus, but your ex sometimes just has a sense about you and can feel that you are stronger.
I tie that to the intimacy that you two shared.
People can just be connected in that way and I have lots of extraordinary stories about those types of things, but some people simply don’t want to entertain such a possibility.
If and when (more likely “when”) your ex requests to meet up and he/she gets to be in your presence, it’s easily noticed.
You won’t have to put on or try to show them, (and you shouldn’t) they’ll just see it.
So the emotional strength you are building (and discipline) with no contact doesn’t just help you right now, but helps you later on as well in that it can help you get your ex back later in the future if it doesn’t happen early on.
It also helps you in the event that your ex doesn’t come back.
I know you don’t want to think about right now, but just consider it an intellectual drill for a moment.
2. It Preserves Your Dignity
It’s not attractive to chase after someone who doesn’t want you.
Right now, the reality in front of you is that your ex doesn’t think they want you.
It’s not an earth-shattering announcement that they don’t want you right now because they wouldn’t have broken up with you if they did.
Our plan for that is no contact.
It can change their mind and heart in time, but in the meantime, no contact sticks up for you.
It sets up a standard for you that will improve your confidence and self-respect in the future to help re-attract your ex or, just maybe, someone else.
3. It Shows Your Ex You Won’t Bail Them Out
You want your ex back, right?
And what you also want is for this not to happen again.
One thing that helps prevent this person from dumping you again, assuming you get back together, is that they know that you won’t bail them out of their mistake.
You want your ex to know that you won’t rush to them to offer to do all the work of picking up the pieces.
You don’t want to teach your ex that they can just get upset and dump you because they know that they will hear from you and you will try to fix their mistake.
4. It Removes Hurdles To Your Ex Coming Back
Let’s say that your ex starts missing you and is concerned that you might be moving on.
That makes them start thinking that the breakup was possibly a mistake and that they are starting to want more and more each day to get back together with you (also see my post, “Signs My Ex Still Loves Me“).
But what if you didn’t use no contact or kept breaking it?
Your ex could think to himself/herself, “But what if it doesn’t work out again and I have to break up with him/her again? I will have to go through all that drama and pestering again.
That could be enough for them to delay at best or to decide against reuniting with you at worst.
So use the No Contact Rule to remove potential hurdles to getting your ex back.
So those 4 things are how no contact always works.
I suggest reading back through this article at least once and that you visit the articles I’ve linked to in this article.
They are some of my most important and informative ones.
I highly recommend my Emergency Breakup Kit to give you the best chance possible of getting your ex back.
No matter what, I wish you the very best.