“So you want to know how to make him feel guilty for hurting you?”
”Yes. And I want him to regret hurting me as well so that he feels so bad he comes back to me.”
I’ve had that request made on coaching calls. The hurting person wants their ex back so badly that they don’t care how or even if it’s even real.
They often don’t believe me when I tell them that if it worked at all, it would only be temporary.
What makes that tactic worse is that an ex who is “guilted” into coming back will leave resentfully in a very short time and likely never speak to the other person again.
Should You Use Guilt To Try To Get Your Ex Back?
If you do, you’ll end up worse off than you are now because your ex will build up an emotional defense against you due to the manipulation and they likely won’t ever even consider getting back together with you again.
They will associate you with extremely negative feelings and won’t trust you because you emotionally manipulated them.
Even if they come back temporarily, no one can stay in a relationship with guilt as their only reason because guilt is not love. It’s not attraction, admiration, respect, or commitment.
Rather than them coming back to you because they feel good about you and the relationship, if your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend comes back because they feel guilty, they are coming back because they feel badly if they don’t. Not because they want to come back.
I know you see the difference.
If your ex didn’t stay in the relationship before, without the guilt, what makes you think they will stay with it? The only thing that has been added is a negative!
Rather than giving your ex time and space to heal, miss you, and be ready to come back to you, if you used guilt instead, you forced them to come back before they were ready and under a form of emotional blackmail.
At this point, I think you know my answer to the question, “Should you use guilt to try to get your ex back?”
You don’t want them with you against their will.
You want them back because they love you and couldn’t stand to be without you any longer.
Trying to make them feel guilty enough to come back to you is a fool’s errand.
It falls into the “Mirage Reunion” that I talk about in my article, “What Makes An Ex Come Back?”
Not only will your ex likely not fall for it in the first place and simply shut you out (or ghost you) completely, you will likely forfeit any future relationship with them. Even friendship.
There are effective ways to get your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back after a breakup that actually work.
In fact, they work extremely well, so there’s no need to use guilt or manipulation of any other form in a misguided attempt to get your ex back.