What Happens If I Break No Contact?

What if I break no contact?

What happens if you break no contact?

I know you want to reach out to your ex and to receive a warm welcome where they are glad that you called and want to get back together.

But I owe it to you to tell you what will almost certainly actually happen.

Breaking the no contact rule is a common dilemma faced by many who are navigating the turbulent waters of a breakup.

Understanding the No Contact Rule

Initiating no contact after a breakup is a strategic move aimed at giving both parties the necessary space and time to reflect on their relationship.

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This period is not just about silence; it’s an opportunity for personal growth, healing, and potentially rekindling the relationship with a fresh perspective.

However, the urge to break no contact is strong, often driven by the immediate longing to reconnect, seek closure, or gauge the possibility of a reunion.

It’s crucial to understand the underlying motivations behind this urge and the potential consequences of acting on it prematurely.

The Temptation to Break No Contact

Many find themselves on the brink of breaking no contact, driven by a mix of hope, desperation, and the need for emotional closure.

The common reasons include seeking answers to lingering questions, expressing unresolved feelings, or simply the hope of reigniting the spark.

However, breaking no contact too soon and sometimes at all can disrupt the process of re-attracting your ex.

It can send a message of desperation, affecting the dynamics of attraction and the perceived value within the relationship.

The Impact of Breaking No Contact

Reaching out can reinforce the breakup decision for your ex, making it harder to rebuild attraction and connection in the future.

Premature contact often results in a reinforcement of the initial reasons for the breakup, diminishing the chances of a positive outcome and negatively affecting the dynamics of the relationship in the future if a reunion occurs.

Breaking no contact can be perceived by the ex as a sign of emotional dependency or lack of resilience, traits that are often not aligned with the qualities of an attractive partner.

Such actions inadvertently communicate a message of desperation, undermining the perceived value within the relationship and diminishing the individual’s attractiveness in the eyes of their ex.

Moreover, breaking no contact can reset the emotional clock for both parties involved.

For the person initiating the contact, it can lead to a resurgence of pain and longing, complicating the healing process.

For the ex, it can reinforce their decision to end the relationship, as it highlights the absence of the space they sought through the breakup and causes them to feel that you are the one standing between them and what they want.

This can solidify their resolve to move on, further distancing themselves from the possibility of reconciliation.

The premature re-initiation of communication also deprives your ex of the opportunity to truly miss you which is something that needs to happen for them to feel they want to get back together.

The no contact rule serves as a mirror, reflecting the absence of the relationship and its value in their lives.

By interrupting this period of reflection, the chance for genuine realization and appreciation of the relationship’s worth is diminished.

It is through the silence and distance that the heart grows fonder, bringing an environment where the thought of reconciliation can germinate and flourish.

In essence, the decision to break no contact should not be taken lightly.

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It is best if the person who broke up with you is the one to reach out to you unless you need forgiveness for a significant mistreatment of them such as cheating on them, yelling harshly, or lying.

The strategic aspect of no contact lies not in manipulation but in allowing the natural course of emotions and realizations to unfold.

It is a testament to strength, self-respect, and the understanding that sometimes, stepping back is the most powerful step forward.

The impact of breaking no contact serves as a reminder of the delicate balance between holding on and letting go.

When the other person is trying to run away, letting go is the only thing that you can do that won’t look like you are trapping him or her.

Creating an Environment for Reconciliation

No contact serves as a powerful tool in creating an environment where the possibility of getting back together can be explored genuinely.

It allows both parties to miss each other, reflecting on the relationship with a clearer, more objective perspective.

What often happens when someone breaks no contact with their ex is that the ex becomes angry.

This is usually an emotionally painful shock for the one who was broken up with and seems cruel.

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It is.

It happens because of your ex’s desire for freedom and to be given what they asked for.

Interacting with you after they broke up with you is often difficult for them, bringing anxiety, drama, and frustration.

Many people have booked a coaching session with me to tell me that they broke no contact and it really messed things up.

I’ll often hear that now the ex is really angry and said to never contact them again.

Or their ex did not answer at all.

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One thought to consider is this: If your ex does decide that he/she wants to get back together with you, wouldn’t they contact you?

When we want something, we make an effort.

And the other part of this is that if your ex is not willing to make the simple effort of reaching out to you – something simple if you want to be with someone – what does that tell you?

Do you think a relationship with someone who won’t even bother to reach out to you if they want you back will last?

It’s doubtful.

I have seen these situations for more than two decades and I can tell you that if you break no contact, the odds are high that you will not like what happens.

Please trust me for your own sake.

The Strategic Use of No Contact

The strategic aspect of no contact lies in its ability to evoke curiosity and reflection.

It’s during this silent period that your ex can truly feel the weight of their decision, potentially leading to a change of heart.

However, this strategy requires patience, resilience, and a strong belief in the process.

emergency breakup kit

emergency breakup kit

Encouragement During No Contact

Staying committed to no contact can be challenging.

It’s a journey marked by ups and downs, requiring support and encouragement.

Remember, this period is not only about waiting for your ex to reach out but also about focusing on your personal growth and happiness.


Navigating no contact is a nuanced process that requires careful consideration and self-reflection.

While the urge to break no contact can be overwhelming, understanding the implications and timing is crucial for any hope of reconciliation.

In the end, no contact is not just a strategy but a path to healing, self-discovery, and, potentially, a stronger, more resilient relationship.

For those struggling with no contact or seeking to understand more about the dynamics of breakups and reconciliation, resources like coaching or comprehensive guides can provide valuable support and insight.

Get your ex back with my Emergency Breakup Kit!


Coach Lee

About Coach Lee

Coach Lee, Master of Marriage & Family Counseling, helps people save relationships. He developed the Emergency Breakup Kit, a powerful guide to winning back an ex. Get information on the Kit by Clicking Here! If your MARRIAGE is struggling, get his free mini-course on saving a marriage.

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