(and Why Real Human Guidance Matters When You Want Your Ex Back)

Obviously, artificial intelligence is impressive.

I get it, ChatGPT and other A.I. sources can answer your questions in seconds.

They can summarize books, organize your schedule, and even help with your grocery list.

So it makes sense that many people go to ChatGPT these days even when they are trying to get an ex back after a breakup.

I understand that you want answers fast and that you also want reassurance about your situation.

You probably feel relief knowing that you are speaking to “something” that feels wise and helps you feel some progress (real or not) when your emotions in chaos.

But when it comes to breakups and reuniting with your ex, there are limits to what AI can actually do.

And these limits are very real.

That does not mean that AI is your enemy (yet….lol…I hope).

I’m not trying to suggest that ChatGPT or other forms of A.I. have no value to us.

What I am saying is what I have said for years in my videos and that is that relationship decisions are not the same as math problems.

Human behavior and psychology is not the same thing as recalling information, smoothly writing an email, or coming up with a great recipe for a new kind of cake.

With relationships and breakups there are layers of complicated emotion, psychology, attachment, and even timing that can’t be reduced to a template or an answer from something that is not capable of experiencing those human feelings.

That is why so many people search questions like:

• “Is ChatGPT good for relationship advice?”
• “Can ChatGPT help me get my ex back?”
• “Why did ChatGPT tell me to move on?”
• “Is AI wrong about my breakup?”
• “What to do if ChatGPT gave me bad breakup advice?”

People are feeling uncertain during the time of a breakup and want to know if they can trust AI with something as important as the future of their relationship or even their marriage.

And my honest answer is that A.I. can help you understand concepts, but it can’t guide you through the personal details of your breakup or marriage crisis.

ChatGPT, Grok, and others cannot interpret the emotional story behind what is happening between you and your partner.

It cannot see the living and breathing human being who you are hurting over.

I have helped more than five thousand people in real breakup situations during my time as a relationship coach.

When you work with that many individuals, you begin to see subtle patterns in a way that I don’t even know can be explained that does not show up in textbooks or data sets.

You hear the emotional side and you hear the fear.

You hear the details that never make it into the typed descriptions that A.I. uses to learn.

And you certainly hear the truth between the lines.

In this article, I will walk you through the limitations of AI in breakup and relationship advice, why it is often wrong about your ex or your straying spouse, and why a real person who works with actual couples and actual exes is the smarter choice when your stakes are emotional, painful, and very real.

Why People Ask AI About Their Ex

Before I explain the limits I see, I will acknowledge something important.

The rise of AI in relationship advice happened for a few specific reasons.

People are asking things like:

• “Can AI tell me if my ex will come back?”
• “Will ChatGPT know if my ex still loves me?”
• “Should I trust AI or a real coach for breakup advice/”

People are hurting and looking for reassurance without judgment but they are also wanting the best advice possible since it means so much.

They want something that feels steady and that, as we are told, is smarter than a human being.

Something that will always answer in a matter of seconds and something that is available at three in the morning when they can’t sleep.

So I certainly understand why people use AI for emotional guidance.

The problem is that the tool known as artificial intelligence is not built for that level of human complexity.

AI can talk about human behavior, can explain attachment, and can outline the possible stages of a breakup.

It can give you the theory that it has learned from the data is can access.

But the theory is not what can get your ex back.

It is what gets you started, but real results come from the personal details and from someone who not only has observed real-life situations but also has felt what real humans feel in those situations.

Those personal details are exactly where AI can’t go.

The First Limitation: AI Only Knows What You Tell It

When someone is desperate for answers as in the case of a breakup, they will often unintentionally leave out important parts of the story.

They simply do not know which details actually matter. They might type:

• “She said she needs space.”
• “He said he is confused.”
• “My ex said the breakup was final.”

But they do not include tone, timing, past behavior, context and emotional history.

Those things almost always matter more than the words themselves.

If someone tells AI, “My ex said it is over,” it will often respond with logic that makes sense and sounds reasonable.

But I don’t have to tell you that breakups are messy.

Feelings continue and attraction lingers.

Doubt and regret often grow (and that can be a great thing if you want your ex back).

There is a reason people search:

• “Why did ChatGPT tell me to move on?”
• “What if ChatGPT is wrong about no contact?”

Often times they sense that the answer doesn’t seem to match the real world.

People often feel the disconnect between the cold logic of a machine and the “warm confusion” of a relationship that once mattered just as much to the other person.

With five thousand real cases, I can tell you that the words, “It’ is’s over” are not always final.

Quite often, they are emotional, defensive, and those words are spoken during stress, frustration, or confusion but don’t actually or effectively communicate your ex’s emotions or what he/she will feel in the future.

A.I. can’t see any of that unless you tell it and even then, it only sees it as simplified down to numbers in many ways.

When it comes to emotions, A.I. simply can’t and doesn’t know what really matters.

The Second Limitation: AI Does Not Know Your Ex

This is one of the biggest problems I know of with A.I. breakup advice (or A.I. marriage advice).

People ask:

• “Will ChatGPT know if my ex will come back?”
• “Can AI tell me what my ex is feeling?”

The truth is that A.I. cannot know your ex.

It does not know their patterns, their fear level, their indecision, or their emotional rhythms.

It simply cannot see or hear:

• The hesitation in their voice.
• The softness in their messages.
• The delay that means something.
• The late night text that reveals anxiety.
• The birthday message that shows attachment (or an awareness of lost intimacy).

A.I. looks at words, but it simply can’t look at human souls.

Your ex isn’t a piece of data or a statistic.

Your ex is a human being with real and lived experiences, insecurities, defenses, illusions, and reactions.

He/she has been shaped by their childhood, relationship history, traumas, and losses.

A.I. doesn’t truly know or understand any of that because it only comprehends it on a basic level simply because A.I. doesn’t have its own emotions, feelings, trauma, or insecurities.

A real coach or counselor picks up on things people do not even know they are showing or experiencing.

I have been on thousands of calls where the first two minutes tell me more than the entire typed description ever could.

That is because tone, timing, and energy tell a considerable amount of the real story.

• AI does not hear tone.
• AI does not see emotion.
• AI does not observe hesitation.

AI sees text or translates your voice into text.

And we both know that breakups are never just text.

The Third Limitation: AI Does Not Catch Contradictions In The Same Way

People who are heartbroken can often contradict themselves.

They say one thing but then unknowingly describe another.

They downplay something that can actually be central to their situation.

They emphasize something that is minor but only tell half the story.

My questions pull the forgotten details because their nervous system is overwhelmed.

When someone tells me their story, I listen closely for inconsistencies and I know which ones to look for based on my experiences and observations.

I listen for what they are unknowingly skipping over or even what someone sometimes doesn’t want me to hear.

I listen for what they often think is irrelevant but is actually at the center of their breakup and can help them reunite with their ex.

AI cannot hear contradictions unless you lay them out word for word and even then, it doesn’t understand why those contradictions are happening other than simple forgetfullness.

And most people have no idea what details AI would need to even begin to see the problem.

That is why so many people search things like:

“Why does ChatGPT misunderstand my breakup”
“Why is ChatGPT wrong about my relationship”

You might be able to tell ChatGPT that touching a hot iron is incredibly painful and it can understand that touching a hot iron equals pain. And it can understand that pain is a negative emotion.

But having never experienced pain itself and not being capable, do you really think it UNDERSTANDS pain?

That’s where so much of my point is made.

People read the response and feel that it is missing something but often can’t put it into words.

And most of the time, it is missing the exact thing that some experienced, human coaches would identify within seconds.

I’m not talking about the coaches who are too young to have the experience to understand or the ones who lucked into a viral video.

I’m also not talking about so-called relationship coaches who simply parrot information they have read or heard but haven’t gotten their hands dirty with actual cases.

Though I’m not trying to puff myself up, what you can know for certainty about me is that I have walked with many people who were in your shoes.

I have vast real-world, vocational, and practical experience.

I don’t just read papers or listen to what other people say (though I do some of that for sure).

I have learned through personal observation of thousands of real people and real situations.

This isn’t purely academic for me.

It’s not sound bytes, cliches, or nice articles.

I don’t just talk to my video camera.

I’m a coach with a Master Diploma (a vocational master’s degree) who has heard so many situations that understanding and advising has become second nature.

I’m a better coach now than I was 10 years ago and was a better coach 10 years ago than I was 10 years before that.

Not because I read more or watched some videos, but because I directly walked with people going through breakups, separations, and divorces.

Not just during a weekend workshop, but over months and even over years.

What’s funny is that two out of my last 3 sentences were marked as “generated by A.I.” by A.I.

Yet it is completely wrong.

I wrote those entirely from my own mind.

Similarly, my mind and my emotions pick up on things that other coaches can’t and that A.I. can’t because it doesn’t have emotions, memories of emotions, or the experience of emotions and a mind working together to form a human psyche.

The Fourth Limitation: AI Is Not Emotionally Invested

AI does not care if you get your ex back.

• It is not rooting for you.
• It is not anxious for you.
• It is not feeling your pain.
• it doesn’t lose sleep wondering how you’re doing.

I’m not saying that makes AI bad.

As I said before, I know that A.I. is useful.

But what makes it useful it is completely neutral.

It gives advice without emotional skin in the game.

But when someone is hurting, they need more than logic.

They need wisdom from someone who cares about the outcome and who has watched thousands of couples reunite as well as thousands of couples fall apart for unnecessary reasons.

When someone talks to me about their ex, I am invested and want them to help them avoid the mistakes that cost so many people second chances every day.

Mistakes like:

• Sending long messages
• Breaking no contact
• Trying to “explain their side”
• Over apologizing
• Pushing for closure
• Chasing a confused partner

AI does not see the emotional consequences.

It does not understand that timing is everything and that restraint is a form of power in relationship recovery.

People search things like:

“Is ChatGPT wrong about no contact”
“Does ChatGPT understand dumper psychology”

Because something inside them senses that emotional decisions require emotional intelligence.

And emotional intelligence is something a machine cannot have.

The Fifth Limitation: AI Does Not Understand Regret, Attraction, or Human Weakness

Breakups are emotional and logical, but often the “logic” used by someone to break up with another is based on what their emotional state allow them to see.

They can just as easily see reasons to come back to the person they dumped if (and when) their emotional state changes.

Attraction is complicated since it is a cocktail of physical attraction, emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, behavioral attraction, romantic attraction, and sexual attraction at varying levels that constantly impact each other.

Other than saying, “Not warm or not hot,” can you even explain what the word “cold” means or how it feels on your skin or when you need to get under the covers?

Now consider something as complex and romantic feelings and attraction.

Do you really think that a computer that can’t even experience any of those things (let alone a combination) can truly understand or guide you on how to measure, understand, or recreate them in your ex or straying spouse?

And then we must factor in regret which is emotional instead of logical and again I ask you the same question…. do you really think a computer can understand?

The decisions exes make are often driven by:

• Fear
• Loneliness
• Pressure
• Confusion
• Insecurity
• Nostalgia
• Attachment

AI can describe these things to you but it cannot feel them and has never felt them.

And because it cannot feel them, it cannot always predict them or know how they can develop or regress.

A real, human coach with experience sees patterns that do not show up in data.

For example:

• The ex who blocks you but still comes back
• The ex who says they are done but reaches out three weeks later
• The ex who shows anger but is actually hurting
• The ex who seems cold but is actually fragile inside
• The ex who moves on fast but still misses you and the relationship

These things are common in real life and I see them happen all the time when someone handles a breakup in a way that encourages those things.

People search for:

“Why did ChatGPT tell me my ex will not come back?”
“ChatGPT breakup advice is too logical”
“Does AI understand human feelings?”

They feel the gap between emotional reality and computer logic.

What AI Can Do Well (and How It Helps You)

I want to be fair to AI. It is certainly not useless.

In fact, it is excellent at certain things that make life easier:

• It explains concepts clearly
• It helps people understand why no contact can work
• It can reduce panic by giving structure
• It can break down the psychology of attachment
• It can clarify what healthy behavior looks like

This is valuable and I know that AI can help people understand their situation better.

It can give correct direction sometimes and it can help some people calm down enough to think clearly.

I’m not here to tell you that AI is the enemy.

Instead, I’m just reminding you that understanding the concepts of human relationships, breakups, and attraction is not the same as knowing what to do.

AI offers education.
A real coach offers direction.

AI offers theory.
A real coach offers strategy built on experience.

AI offers possibilities.
A real coach offers probability based on thousands of real outcomes.

Why Real Human Guidance Works Better for Ex Recovery

When I talk to someone about their breakup, I’m not giving them a template.

I am giving them guidance built on:

• Twenty years of observation
• Thousands of real case histories
• Patterns only humans can see
• Emotions only humans can feel
• Mistakes only humans can prevent

I can hear things they do not even know they’re saying.

I can recognize patterns in the behavior of their ex that I wouldn’t have been able to years ago without the experience I have gained to this point.

I can understand the timing and rhythm that creates a second chance and I can hear when someone is about to sabotage themselves due to desperation and panic.

I can feel when an ex is still emotionally attached.

I have human nature, understand human nature, and have observed it specifically in breakups and marriage crisis for more than two decades.

People do not just need information but, instead, they need interpretation of that information.

They need someone who says:

“Here is what this really means.”
“Here is what your ex is trying not to show you.”
“Here is the mistake most people make next.”
“Here is the timing you must respect.”
“Here is what not to do under any circumstances.”
“Here is the move that protects your chances.”

AI cannot do that because AI does not know people.

I know people because I work with real people every day.

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When Should You Use AI and When Should You Avoid It

Here is a look at the balance:

Use AI for:

• Learning the basics
• Understanding relationship psychology
• Getting reassurance during emotional moments
• Exploring general concepts
• Asking for neutral explanations

AVOID AI for:

• Decisions about no contact
• Decisions about reaching out to your ex (or not reaching out to your ex)
• Understanding mixed signals
• Interpreting emotional behavior
• Situations where the timing is delicate
• Trying to predict what your ex will do
• Deciding whether the breakup is really final

These decisions require someone who can actually recognize the situation, not just the hypothetical one.

AI is smart, but breakups are emotional.

And emotion is the one territory where human experience, instinct, and empathy will always be superior.

What to Do if ChatGPT Gave You Wrong Breakup Advice

These are some phrases that people search more than you think:

• “What to do if ChatGPT was wrong about my ex”
• “ChatGPT made me break no contact”
• “ChatGPT told me to move on but I still want my ex”

Here is what you should do, in my opinion, if AI guided you the wrong way:

• Return to no contact and stop the emotional bleeding
• Do not send another message
• Do not explain why you reached out
• Do not apologize for reaching out
• Do not chase
• Let the situation settle
• Let the pressure drop
• Let your ex feel your absence again

You can sometimes correct mistakes, but they must be corrected with the right strategy.

That is where human guidance becomes essential and one example is when you should reach out.

It’s not always as simple as just no contact.

In fact, about 30% of the time based on what I have seen, you SHOULD contact your ex.

But that is for another article at another time or for a coaching session.

Final Thoughts: AI Is Helpful, But It Cannot Replace a Human Being Who Has Been Through This Thousands of Times

AI is not evil. It is not your enemy.

But it has its blind spots and they are big ones when it comes to human emotions, nature, and romantic feelings.

In those situations, those blind spots are big ones.

• It cannot read tone.
• It cannot see body language.
• It cannot feel regret.
• It cannot sense emotional pressure.
• It cannot understand the living complexity of an ex.

Your heart is not a data set and your breakup is not a math problem or an algorithm and it will never be.

You deserve guidance from a human being who understands the difference between “theory” and “reality.”

ChatGPT can help you think but a real coach with vast experience can help you get your ex back.

Your heart deserves experience instead of guesses.

Get my Emergency Breakup Kit to get your ex back!

OR book a coaching session with me, a real human being.

Humanly,

Coach Lee