Should I Get Rid Of My Ex’s Things or Gifts?

Breakups can leave behind more than just emotional scars.

They often leave behind boxes, clothes, gifts, and reminders of the relationship that once felt like your whole world.

If you’re hoping to reunite with your ex, you might find yourself staring at those items and wondering if holding on to them is hurting your chances or if getting rid of them would send the wrong signal.

This is one of the most common questions I receive from people who want to get their ex back: “Should I get rid of my ex’s things or gifts?”

It’s a bigger decision than it might seem at first because those objects carry emotional weight for both of you.

What you decide to do with them can affect not only how you heal but also how your ex perceives you if reconciliation is possible.

In this article, we’ll take a detailed look at the pros and cons of holding on to your ex’s belongings, how timing plays into the decision, and what it communicates if you discard or keep certain items.

I’ll also share strategies for handling this issue if your ultimate goal is to reunite with your ex.

The Emotional Impact of Keeping Their Things

When you see a hoodie your ex left behind or a necklace they gave you on your birthday, your heart might ache.

Those reminders can stir up both good memories and painful ones.

Keeping their things close can keep you stuck in the past.

It’s hard to move forward if your environment is filled with reminders of what you lost.

On the other hand, removing every trace of your ex can make it look as though you are trying too hard to erase them.

If your goal is reconciliation, you want to avoid extremes.

The key is balance.

You don’t want to torture yourself by surrounding your life with constant reminders, but you also don’t want to make a dramatic statement that screams bitterness or resentment.

Remember, how you carry yourself after a breakup communicates more than words.

What Keeping or Discarding Communicates to Your Ex

Whether you realize it or not, your actions are being noticed.

If your ex comes by or hears from mutual friends that you’ve thrown out their gifts, it might send a signal you didn’t intend.

1. Throwing everything away immediately – This can communicate anger or a desire to erase them from your life. If you want them back, this approach might work against you because it suggests finality.
2. Clinging to everything – Holding on to every item and putting it on display might come across as desperation. It can give the impression that you’re unable to live without them, which is not attractive if you want to rekindle the relationship.
3. Storing things respectfully – Packing items away, without destroying them, often sends the healthiest message. It shows maturity. It communicates that you’re capable of handling the breakup without bitterness, but that you aren’t obsessed either.

What you want to communicate is strength, balance, and dignity.

You want your ex to see that you’re capable of standing on your own two feet, while still valuing what you shared together.

Should You Wear or Use Their Gifts?

This is another common dilemma.

What do you do with that expensive watch, sweater, or piece of jewelry?

If you use or wear those gifts every day, it may suggest that you’re still living in the past.

But if you suddenly hide or trash them, it could look like you’re overcompensating to “prove” you’ve moved on.

The best approach is moderation.

It’s fine to keep and occasionally use certain gifts, especially if they have practical value.

Just don’t make it obvious that you’re clinging to them for sentimental reasons.

If reconciliation happens, your ex will likely notice that you didn’t throw away what they gave you and that can actually work in your favor.

It shows you valued their gesture without making it your identity.

Handling Items Left Behind by Your Ex

There’s a difference between gifts they gave you and belongings they accidentally left behind.

Clothes, books, or personal items that are clearly theirs should not be kept as trophies.

If you’re in no contact (which I strongly recommend if you want your ex back), you don’t need to rush to return these items.

In fact, many times an ex will use belongings as an excuse to reach out when they’re ready.

If they haven’t asked for their things back, you can safely store them.

If they eventually do ask for them, handle it calmly and respectfully.

Do not use it as an excuse to beg, argue, or push reconciliation.

Simply arrange for the items to be returned without drama.

Ironically, the calmer and less needy you appear in these exchanges, the more likely your ex is to see you in a positive light.

How Timing Plays a Role

Timing is crucial in this decision.

In the early days after a breakup, emotions are raw.

Making sudden, dramatic choices about your ex’s things during this stage can backfire.

For example, if you immediately burn every letter or post photos of yourself throwing their belongings in the trash, it may feel empowering for a moment, but it often communicates bitterness.

If your ex later starts to miss you, those actions may discourage them from reaching out.

Instead, give it time. Pack the items away in a box and store it somewhere out of sight.

This gives you space to heal without sending a final signal you might regret.

Later, if reconciliation does not happen, you’ll be in a clearer emotional state to decide what to do with the items for good.

The Power of Absence

Here’s something subtle but important: absence can often speak louder than presence.

If your ex gave you a framed picture of the two of you and it’s no longer on your living room wall, that absence will be noticed if they come over or if someone close to them visits your place.

It quietly communicates that you aren’t clinging. It shows growth.

But if you still have every gift displayed as though nothing changed, it sends the opposite message.

You appear stuck.

That doesn’t inspire attraction.

This doesn’t mean you should throw everything away.

It means being strategic about what is visible and what isn’t.

Think of it as managing the environment in a way that reflects strength, not desperation.

Avoid Making Your Decision About Manipulation

It’s tempting to treat the decision of what to do with your ex’s things as a tool to manipulate their feelings.

But the truth is that people are usually more perceptive than we give them credit for.

If you are putting items on display just to make them think you’re still holding on or if you get rid of everything in a big show to make them jealous it often backfires.

Instead, base your decision on what helps you feel emotionally stable and balanced.

When you approach it that way, the impression you leave on your ex will naturally align with strength and maturity.

When Reconciliation Happens

If your ex does come back, what you did with their gifts and belongings can either help or hurt that reunion.

If you threw everything away in anger, it may create an awkward moment when they notice.

They might even feel that what you had together didn’t mean as much to you as it did to them.

That’s not the energy you want if you’re trying to rebuild trust.

On the other hand, if you saved their things in a box out of respect, you’ll be glad you did.

You’ll have protected both your dignity and the possibility of reconciliation.

Many couples who reunite after a breakup find comfort in the fact that certain items were preserved, even during the separation.

Practical Steps You Can Take

Here are some practical, step-by-step suggestions for handling your ex’s things while keeping the door open for reconciliation:

1. Gather everything into one place – Instead of scattering reminders throughout your home, place them in a single box.
2. Decide what to store and what to use – Keep practical gifts you might use but store sentimental items out of sight.
3. Don’t rush to return their belongings – If they haven’t asked for them, don’t make it your job to force the issue.
4. If they ask for their things, cooperate without drama – Handle it calmly, without making it a big moment.
5. Avoid making it a performance – Don’t use social media or friends to broadcast what you’ve done with their things.
6. Revisit your decision later – After a few months, if reconciliation hasn’t happened, you can decide whether to permanently part with the items.

A Word About Sentimental Gifts

Certain gifts—like handwritten notes, rings, or items tied to meaningful anniversaries—carry deeper emotions than everyday belongings.

If you’re unsure what to do with them, the safest choice is to store them.

You may not want to look at them now, but years from today you may be glad you didn’t act impulsively.

People often regret destroying sentimental items in the heat of heartbreak.

At the very least, packing them away gives you time to make a clear decision later on.

Protecting Your Own Healing

While the focus of this article is on reconciliation, I also want to stress the importance of protecting your own heart.

Keeping every reminder in sight can delay your healing.

You need space to process the breakup, work on yourself, and build the strength that makes reconciliation possible.

Packing things away is not only respectful toward your ex but also a gift to yourself. It gives you room to breathe.

The Bigger Picture

At the end of the day, what you do with your ex’s belongings is less important than how you handle yourself during the breakup.

Your actions should consistently show calmness, strength, and dignity.

If you want your ex back, the best chance you have is to let them feel your absence, wonder about your life, and experience the possibility of losing you.

That process is not helped by making dramatic displays with gifts or belongings.

It’s helped by showing that you’re capable of handling the breakup with grace.

Conclusion

So, should you get rid of your ex’s things or gifts?

The wisest choice is to avoid extremes.

Don’t display them all over your home as though nothing changed, and don’t destroy them in a fit of passion.

Store them respectfully. Keep what is practical, and remove constant reminders from your daily environment.

This approach communicates maturity, leaves the door open for reconciliation, and protects your emotional health.

If your ex comes back, you’ll be glad you didn’t make rash decisions.

And if they don’t, you’ll have preserved your dignity and given yourself space to move forward.

Breakups are hard, but they don’t have to define you.

Handle your ex’s things with balance and respect, and you’ll be taking a powerful step toward either reconciliation or a healthier future for yourself.

Get my Emergency Breakup Kit to get your ex back OR book a private coaching session with me!

Sincerely,

Coach Lee