Long Distance Breakup How To Get Ex Back

Long Distance Breakups and No Contact: Navigating the Path to Reconciliation

This is Coach Lee, and in this article, I’m going to talk to you about getting your ex back if you were in a long-distance relationship breakup.

I’m going to talk about how to get an ex back after a long distance breakup and the no contact rule as well.

Long-distance relationships are challenging, and when a breakup happens, the difficulties can feel insurmountable.

But with the right strategies, you can navigate through this tough period and increase your chances of reconciliation.

The Reality of Long-Distance Relationships

A lot of my coaching clients are in long-distance breakups.

In fact, a plurality of my coaching clients face this challenge.

This should tell you a lot about the difficulty of maintaining a long-distance relationship.

The absence of physical presence creates a significant strain on long-distance relationships that prevents the level of intimacy that can potentially be achieved if relationships were a daily or weekly physical presence exists for the couple.

As wonderful as modern technology is—allowing us to communicate and keep up with each other through video calls and messages—nothing beats face-to-face, eye-to-eye, and body-to-body interaction.

In fact, it’s not even close.

I don’t enjoy saying that, but it’s true.

Being nearby where the couple can grab lunch, have a weekly date night (or more), or live together results in vastly superior intimacy (both physically and emotionally) than long-distance relationships.

Most people struggle with long-term, long-distance relationships because the physical and emotional connection isn’t the same when you’re apart.

If you’re currently in a long-distance relationship and haven’t broken up yet, just know that you are likely on borrowed time unless you have a concrete plan to end the distance.

I’m just being direct and honest with you.

Being together in the same area, whether through marriage or moving in together, is essential for the long-term success of most relationships.

All relationships are difficult, but long-distance ones are the most difficult.

The No Contact Rule in Long-Distance Breakups

If you’ve seen my videos or read my articles, you know that I talk about the no contact rule a lot.

If you haven’t, you can find a wealth of information on this website about this strategy.

The no contact rule means you do not contact your ex after they have broken up with you.

This does not apply if you were the one who initiated the breakup, unless you cheated on your ex.

If you want your ex back after breaking up with them, you should be the one to reach out.

The no contact rule works well because it creates a sense of loss for the other person.

They start to miss your presence and the role you played in their life.

I have a popular post and video called “Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact” that explains this process in detail.

Initially, your ex might feel relief, which can be disheartening for you, but this is a natural part of the process.

The Challenge of Long-Distance No Contact

The first problem with a long-distance breakup and using no contact is that your ex is already accustomed to a form of no contact.

They are used to not having physical contact with you, which means they are already good at dealing with the absence of regular hand-holding, kissing, hugging, and more.

This can make no contact less impactful initially.

The second challenge is that long-distance relationships rely heavily on digital communication.

When you stop contacting them, it might not feel as drastic a change as it would in a geographically close relationship.

However, over time, the absence of your messages and calls can start to create a sense of loss.

Why No Contact Can Work in Long-Distance Breakups

If you want to know how to get your ex back after a long-distance breakup, the no contact rule is still important.

1. Creates a Sense of Loss: No contact helps your ex feel your absence. Initially, they might feel relief, but as time goes on, they will start to miss the routine interactions and emotional support you provided. This sense of loss is crucial for them to realize what they had with you.
2. Reflecting on the Relationship: Without you constantly reaching out, your ex has space to reflect on the good times and the positive aspects of your relationship. This period of reflection can lead them to reconsider their decision and remember why they were attracted to you in the first place.
3. Avoiding Negative Interactions: By not contacting them, you avoid potential negative interactions that could further damage their perception of you. Begging, pleading, or repeatedly asking for another chance only reinforces their decision to break up.
4. Demonstrating Strength: No contact shows that you are strong enough to respect their decision and give them space. This strength can be attractive and can make them question their decision to end the relationship.

The Role of Mutual Friends and Social Media

Indirect influence through mutual friends and social media can be powerful during no contact if you want to get your ex back after a long distance breakup.

Your mutual friends might talk to your ex about you, and you want them to share positive updates about your life.

If they hear that you are doing well and not constantly talking about the breakup, it can create curiosity and make your ex wonder if they made a mistake.

Posting subtly on social media about your positive changes and achievements can also be effective.

Showcasing your growth and happiness without directly addressing your ex can make them reflect on what they’ve lost.

Showing That You’ve Changed

One of the biggest questions I get is how to show your ex that you’ve changed without breaking no contact.

It’s a delicate balance because trying too hard to show them can come off as desperate or insincere.

It can look like you are asking them, “Am I good enough for you now?”

Instead, focus on genuinely improving yourself.

Mutual friends and social media can again play a role here by subtly highlighting your growth.

If you move to be closer to them, don’t make it a grand gesture.

Instead, frame it as a personal decision for your growth and happiness.

This way, it doesn’t come off as trying to win them back through a dramatic change.

When to Break No Contact

Permanent no contact is not practical.

After a certain period of time – usually 3 months – if you haven’t heard from your ex, it might be worth reaching out.

The key is to keep it casual and not pressure them about getting back together.

Suggest meeting up if you’re in the area for another reason.

Face-to-face interactions can reignite the connection that digital communication cannot.

Providing a Light at the End of the Tunnel

When you do get a chance to meet face-to-face, it’s crucial to provide a clear plan for ending the long-distance aspect of your relationship if your ex is open to getting back together.

Whether it’s you moving closer to them or vice versa, showing a tangible plan can help reassure them that the relationship can work long-term.

Vague promises of “someday” are not enough.

The Importance of Face-to-Face Interaction

Face-to-face interaction is vital for re-establishing the emotional connection.

During these meetings, focus on positive experiences and avoid rehashing past issues or discussing the breakup in detail.

Create new, happy memories together to rebuild attraction.

Bridging the Gap

Ultimately, for a long-distance relationship to work, you need a plan to bridge the gap.

This could involve moving to the same city or finding a way to see each other more frequently.

Without a concrete plan, the relationship is unlikely to survive the strain of distance.

Conclusion

Long-distance breakups are challenging, but by using no contact strategically and focusing on personal growth, you can increase your chances of reconciliation.

Remember to use mutual friends and social media to your advantage, and when the time is right, reach out casually and provide a clear plan for bridging the distance.

For more detailed strategies get my Emergency Breakup Kit.

It offers comprehensive guidance on how to navigate a breakup and increase your chances of getting your ex back. You can find a link to it in the description below.

This has been Coach Lee, and as always, thank you for reading.