Should You Test Your Ex To Get Them Back?

Should I test my ex?

When attempting to rekindle a lost romance, there exists a seldom-discussed period crucial to discerning the true potential of a reunion: the phase of testing your ex.

This approach, while unconventional, serves as a litmus test to gauge the depth of your ex’s feelings and the viability of reigniting the flame of your past relationship.

Here are the key tests to consider if you’re contemplating getting your ex back.

Assessing Their Longing: The No Contact Test

The initial test hinges on distance—specifically, implementing the no-contact rule to ascertain if your ex truly misses you.

This period of silence is not about playing games; rather, it’s about giving your ex the space to experience life without you and to reflect on the value of your relationship.

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If they don’t reach out, it speaks volumes about their feelings and can help you determine whether pursuing a reunion is worthwhile.

Evaluating Their Enthusiasm: The Response Test

When and if your ex initiates contact, scrutinize the nature of their outreach.

A lukewarm or nonchalant response may reveal a lack of genuine interest in reestablishing a connection.

This test is crucial for understanding whether your ex regrets the breakup and is earnest about wanting to make amends.

A strong, heartfelt response indicates a higher likelihood of a meaningful and lasting reunion.

Social media plays a pivotal role in how individuals interact, perceive each other, and, by extension, how they manage the aftermath of a breakup.

Utilizing social media as a tool to potentially rekindle interest from an ex-partner (and to test them) requires a nuanced approach, emphasizing self-improvement, positivity, and subtlety.

Showcase Personal Growth and Positivity

Using social media to reignite an ex’s interest lies in the portrayal of personal growth and an enriched life post-breakup.

This isn’t about fabricating an image or engaging in deceit.

Instead, it’s about genuinely engaging in activities that enhance one’s well-being and sharing these moments without appearing to brag.

Whether it’s picking up a new hobby, traveling, spending time with friends, or personal achievements, these shares should reflect a life lived fully and joyfully.

The underlying message isn’t to invoke jealousy but to demonstrate resilience and your capacity to thrive independently.

Subtlety in Engagement

Subtlety is key.

The objective is to allow your ex to see that you are doing just fine without overt attempts to seek their attention.

I don’t suggest you interact with their posts – and certainly DON’T watch their stories or any other content where they know you are watching.

The aim is to be present without being overwhelming, maintaining a balance that keeps you on their radar without pushing them away.

Avoiding Overexposure

While social media can be a powerful tool, overexposure can backfire.

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Constantly posting or appearing to try too hard can come across as insincere or as an attempt to elicit a reaction.

The strategy should be to maintain an air of mystery and allow your ex to wonder about you.

This means not sharing everything online and having private aspects of your life that pique their curiosity.

Reflecting Real Happiness

An important aspect of this strategy is ensuring that the happiness and growth you display are genuine.

People are adept at detecting insincerity, and feigned happiness can be counterproductive.

Your social media should be a reflection of your real experiences and emotions.

This authenticity is what will truly resonate with your ex, potentially prompting them to reconsider the breakup.

Timing and Patience

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Timing is crucial when using social media to attract your ex’s attention.

Immediate changes post-breakup might seem reactionary.

Instead, allow some time to pass to demonstrate genuine growth and change.

Patience is also vital; this is not a strategy that yields immediate results.

It’s about gradually rebuilding attraction and interest, allowing your ex to come to their conclusions about you and the potential for a renewed relationship.

Authenticity of Their Return: The Comeback Test

Many times, an ex’s attempt to come back into your life might not stem from a place of genuine desire to rekindle the relationship but rather from a place of confusion or a fear of being alone.

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It’s essential to move slowly and observe whether their efforts reflect a sincere appreciation for you and the relationship.

This cautious approach ensures that any potential reconciliation is based on a solid foundation of mutual respect and understanding.

Assessing Their Patience and Understanding

An ex truly interested in a meaningful reconciliation will exhibit patience and an understanding of the gravity of the breakup.

They recognize that rebuilding trust and re-establishing a connection takes time and are willing to move at a pace that respects your feelings and the healing process.

Their willingness to rebuild the relationship without pressuring for immediate reconciliation indicates a mature approach to mending the partnership.

Balancing the Scales: The Attraction Dynamics Test

Upon reconnection, it’s critical to observe whether the dynamics of the relationship have evolved to become more balanced.

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Post-breakup, the person who initiated the split often perceives themselves as being in a position of higher attractiveness, leading to an imbalance.

For a healthy and sustainable relationship, both parties should feel equally valued and attractive.

This balance is a key indicator of the relationship’s potential for longevity.

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The Willingness to Make Amends: The Effort Test

Finally, it’s vital to assess whether your ex is willing to put in the necessary effort to earn your trust and affection back.

This willingness to make amends and demonstrate their commitment to the relationship is a critical test of their sincerity.

If your ex is not prepared to work for the relationship, it may be a sign that moving forward together is not in your best interest.

In conclusion, while the desire to get your ex back is understandable, it’s essential to approach the situation with a strategy that prioritizes your well-being and the health of the potential relationship.

By implementing these tests, you equip yourself with the knowledge needed to make informed decisions about your romantic future, ensuring that any attempt at reconciliation is grounded in mutual respect, understanding, and genuine affection.

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Sincerely,

Coach Lee

About Coach Lee

Coach Lee, Master of Marriage & Family Counseling, helps people save relationships. He developed the Emergency Breakup Kit, a powerful guide to winning back an ex. Get information on the Kit by Clicking Here! If your MARRIAGE is struggling, get his free mini-course on saving a marriage.

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