“Make” Your Ex Realize What They Lost

No contact is a powerful strategy when it comes to getting your ex back.

If you’ve been through a breakup and you want your ex to realize what they lost, it’s essential to understand why staying away can be the best approach.

This article will explain how important it is to let your ex miss you, and why no contact is crucial for this process.

Why No Contact Works

No contact works because it creates a void in your ex’s life.

When you were together, you were a significant part of their daily routine.

By removing yourself from the picture, you force them to experience life without you.

This absence can make them reflect on the relationship and the positive aspects of being with you.

1. Indirect Influence

One of the key aspects of no contact is indirect influence.

You have to be careful with this because your friends and mutual friends can sometimes make things worse by trying to help.

If they share your pain and suffering with your ex (they tell him or her about it), it can make you appear less attractive.

Instead, focus on showing positive changes in your life.

Let your mutual friends see these changes without explicitly telling them to talk about it.

If they bring it up to your ex, it should come across as natural and unforced.

This also allows for your ex to ask your friends if you brought them up, said you missed them, etc.

Your friends will likely be able to honestly say that you have NOT brought them up.

That’s important for your ex to hear!

What do you think this tells your ex?

It tells him or her that you are focused elsewhere, strong enough to keep living your life, and could be moving on to someone else.

This is what can cause your ex to take a serious look at the decision to break up and to reconsider it since they realize that they don’t have a permanent way back into your life and could lose you!

This is vital to your ex realizing what they lost!

2. Excelling in Areas Where They Doubted You

If your ex doubted you in a specific area, this is the time to show improvement.

Mutual friends can notice it, you can carefully and subtly show it on social media, and it is something for you no matter what.

Whether it’s a new hobby, career advancement, or personal development, excelling in these areas can indirectly show your ex that you are thriving without them.

Post subtle updates on social media that highlight these achievements.

Avoid making it look like you are broadcasting these changes specifically for your ex, as this can come across as desperate.

3. Avoid Asking About Your Ex

One common mistake people make is asking mutual friends about their ex.

This shows curiosity and can make you seem still attached to them and the relationship.

Instead, display a lack of curiosity.

When your ex asks your mutual friends if you’ve mentioned them, and they respond with a “no,” it can frustrate and confuse your ex in a good way.

This lack of interest can increase your value in their eyes, as it suggests you are moving on and may not be waiting around for them.

The Psychological Impact of No Contact

No contact creates a psychological impact on your ex.

When they break up with you, they often feel more attractive because they are the ones ending the relationship.

By not reaching out, you challenge this perception.

You are essentially saying, “I am strong enough to stay away.”

This can make your ex question their decision and wonder if they made a mistake by breaking up with you.

The Relief Stage

After a breakup, your ex might feel relief, especially if you begged or pleaded initially.

This relief is temporary and often followed by curiosity.

They start wondering why you’re not reaching out.

This curiosity can lead to concern and frustration, especially if they expected you to chase them.

By not giving in, you force them to confront their decision.

4. Taking a Trip

Taking a trip can be an effective way to show physical and emotional distance.

Post pictures of your trip on social media, but don’t overdo it.

Less can be more.

The goal is to subtly show that you are moving on with your life and enjoying new experiences.

This can make your ex feel like they are missing out on these moments and that you are becoming less accessible.

Silence and Intimacy

Silence is a powerful tool in no contact.

Your ex will start to miss the emotional intimacy you shared.

They won’t have access to your daily life, your thoughts, or your feelings.

This absence can make them realize the depth of their loss.

When they miss this intimacy, they may want to see you face to face, creating an opportunity for you to be your most attractive self.

The Role of Social Media

Social media can play a significant role in no contact.

It’s a way for you to subtly show your ex that you are moving on and improving your life without them.

However, it’s crucial to use social media strategically and CAREFULLY.

Looking like you are trying to get your ex’s attention or show them your changes can come across as you asking, “Am I good enough for you now?”

Subtle Posts

Post updates that highlight positive changes and achievements.

Avoid dramatic or exaggerated posts that scream for attention.

You want to appear natural and genuine – even understated.

These updates can make their way to your ex through mutual friends or even direct viewing, subtly showing that you are doing well.

Avoid Overposting

Overposting can make it seem like you are trying too hard to get your ex’s attention.

Keep your posts balanced and spaced out.

You want to show that you are living your life, not broadcasting every moment in an attempt to make them jealous.

Remember that the best thing that you can do is to give them only enough information to keep them wondering about you.

Building Yourself Up

No contact is not just about making your ex miss you; it’s also about building yourself up.

This period should be used for personal growth and self-improvement.

By becoming the best version of yourself, you increase your attractiveness and the chances of your ex realizing what they lost.

Personal Development

Focus on areas of your life that need improvement.

This could be your career, health, hobbies, or personal relationships.

By working on these areas, you not only distract yourself from the pain of the breakup but also become a more attractive person overall.

It’s important to casually show these changes to mutual friends who might tell your ex without you asking them to.

Confidence and Self-Esteem

Arrogance, self-centeredness, and entitlement is not attractive.

But reasonable confidence is very attractive.

Building your confidence and self-esteem is crucial.

No contact helps you regain your sense of self-worth.

When you stop seeking validation from your ex, you start to realize your own value.

This newfound confidence can be incredibly attractive and can make your ex reconsider their decision.

The Importance of Patience

Patience is a key component of no contact.

Without it, you probably won’t last long enough to attract your ex back to you.

It’s certainly not an overnight solution.

It requires time for your ex to go through the necessary stages of reflection and realization.

Delayed Gratification

No contact is about delayed gratification.

Just because your ex hasn’t come back today doesn’t mean they won’t come back. It’s a process that works on your ex psychologically over time. They need to experience life without you and go through the stages of relief, curiosity, concern, and realization.

Staying Strong

It can be challenging to stay strong during no contact, especially when you miss your ex.

But remember, breaking no contact and reaching out will likely push them further away.

Stay strong and trust the process.

Each day of no contact is a step closer to them potentially realizing what they’ve lost.

The Benefits of No Contact

Regaining Your Power – One of the significant benefits of no contact is regaining your power. When you stop chasing your ex and let them come to you, you shift the dynamic. You are no longer the one seeking validation; instead, they start to wonder if they made the right decision.

Creating Mystery – No contact creates a sense of mystery. Your ex doesn’t know what you’re doing or how you’re feeling. This uncertainty can be intriguing and make them want to reach out to find out more.

Emotional Healing – While this article focuses on getting your ex back, it’s important to note that no contact also allows for emotional healing. By not being in constant contact, you give yourself the space to process the breakup and heal. This healing is crucial for your well-being and can also make you more attractive to your ex.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Breaking No Contact – The most common mistake people make is breaking no contact. Reaching out to your ex can set you back and reinforce their decision to break up. Stick to the no contact rule and trust the process.

Overanalyzing – Another mistake is overanalyzing every interaction or lack of interaction. Constantly checking your ex’s social media or seeking updates from mutual friends can drive you crazy. Focus on yourself and your growth instead.

Desperation – Desperation is unattractive. Avoid making desperate attempts to get your ex’s attention. This includes overposting on social media, showing up at places you know they’ll be, or constantly talking about them to mutual friends.

When to Reach Out

While no contact is powerful, there may come a time when reaching out is appropriate.

This should only be considered after a significant period of no contact, and only if you feel confident and strong in yourself.

Usually this is a minimum of 2.5-3 months and usually I tell people that if you can make yourself go longer than that, you should.

Timing

Timing is crucial.

Reaching out too soon can backfire.

Wait until you feel genuinely ready and until you believe your ex has had enough time to miss you.

Even though you might be tempted to see your situation as different, it almost never takes less than 2-3 months of no contact to impact your ex significantly enough.

The 30 Day No Contact Rule is usually not nearly enough and not something that I suggest in the vast majority of breakup situations.

Purposeful Contact

When and if you do reach out, make sure it’s purposeful and positive.

Avoid bringing up the past or the breakup – that is the most difficult way back.

Instead, focus on being attractive to motivate your ex to come back and to be willing to work on what might need working on.

Keep the conversation light and friendly.

The goal is to reestablish a connection without appearing desperate.

I talk about what to do next as far as requesting a face-to-face meetup, how to speak with them then, and how to actually “get back together” from that point in my Emergency Breakup Kit.

Conclusion

No contact is a powerful strategy to make your ex realize what they lost.

By staying away, you create a void in their life that forces them to reflect on the relationship and your value.

Use this time to build yourself up, focus on personal growth, and trust the process.

Remember, patience is key, and breaking no contact can set you back.

Stay strong, and let your ex miss you.

This approach not only increases your chances of getting them back but also helps you regain your power and confidence.

Get my Emergency Breakup Kit to get your ex back!

Sincerely,

Coach Lee